We love our readers and reward them with free admission for themselves and a guest. Before you sign up to read, you need to come see the show at least once, and read the rules below carefully. Readers who don’t follow format won’t be invited back to read at future Salons, and that really IS a shame.

Please note that we no longer do an open mic, thanks to that one time when an open mic reader thought it would be hilarious to tell jokes about his balls instead of reading from a diary.

5 Reader Rules of Shame

These have been recently updated. Please review ‘em, even if you’ve read before!

1. You must be the author of your reading

This is the core tenet of the Salon of Shame: you can only embarrass yourself. You cannot read a letter someone else sent you, or a poem written by an ex. Shame must be consensual.

2. Readings should be five minutes long

There’s this weird thin line between funny and self-indulgent; that line is called six minutes. Shame is best in small, hilarious, focused doses … so prepare your reading before-hand and make sure it’s short, sweet, and as embarrassing as possible. Reading for less than 5 minutes is fine, too.

3. We like adolescent writing

Teen readings are the most entertaining, but childhood and college writing can work, too. The most popular selections are teenaged diaries and awful poetry, but other pieces include high school essays, unsent letters, awful middle school short stories, etc.

4. Just read — do NOT perform

The Salon of Shame is a reading series — do not hijack our show with stand up comedy, spoken word, or slam poetry. Be expressive, but DO NOT turn your reading into a performance piece with a prepared introduction or dramatic interpretation. Do NOT interrupt your reading with witty asides … just read. Audiences have been known to loudly heckle people who break this rule.

5. Do not read for more than five minutes.

We’re saying it again, because it’s really important: Don’t go longer than five minutes. All readers should prepare and time their reading at home before the Salon.

Ready to commit?

Please fill out the form below. We can’t promise that we’ve got space for everyone who’s interested in reading, but we do our best!